Tag: Gifts

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5 Stuff-Free Gift Ideas

According the website Nerdwallet, it takes the average middle-class American household three months to pay off their holiday gift-buying expenses. Unfortunately these arrears, taken on in the spirit of generosity, are often taken on for naught. Research shows that many, if not most, of our gifts are undervalued and/or disliked by the people we give them to. Not to be too humbuggy, but I suspect the average gift probably has a 50% chance of being well received and/or used (I’m assuming this is a gift that wasn’t specifically requested by the receiver). Would you buy stock in a company where there was a 50% chance the stock would be worth nothing within weeks of buying it? Probably not.

With all this in mind, it’s a good time to suggest some stuff-free gift alternatives–“things” that are almost sure to be used and enjoyed and will not (and cannot) be tossed or given away moments after they are received.

  • Don’t get “stuff.” There are many ways of giving gifts that require no extra storage. Buying experiences–theater or movie tickets, a dinner at a nice restaurant, etc–have actually been shown to have a higher likelihood of being well received than stuff like electronics or blenders.
  • Give a service. Back in the day, you might have given someone a CD, DVD or some other durable good. In their place, buy a subscription or gift certificate to Spotify, Netflx or maybe Airbnb.
  • Give a membership: Museums, zoos, performance spaces, etc. What’s great about this gift is that people end up going to these institutions frequently when they might not have gone at all without a membership.
  • Give food or drink. When doing this one, it helps to have some notion of the recipient’s gastronomic leanings (does he/she like stinky cheese, coffee or tea, bourbon or wheat grass), but food is infinitely consumable and appreciated by most.
  • Give time. We still love the “One Less Gift Certificate” devised by Miss Minimalist. In an age or material abundance, time and attention are far more precious commodities than money or anything you can buy at a store or order on Amazon.

How are you prepping for the holiday season? Let us know in our comments section.

A version of this post originally published November 26, 2014.

Let’s go shopping image via Shutterstock

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Give the (Digital) Gift of Gratitude with Tribute

Imagine being honored and recognized by your family, closest friends and colleagues, each outpouring their appreciation and love for who you’ve been for them. While this kinda thing occasionally happens at various celebratory events, the main event that tends to spur people to get clear about their feelings for you is a memorial service–an event that for many of us is hard to fully appreciate (depending on your perspective on life-after-death). A new service called Tribute is trying to make pre-mortem expressions of love and appreciation a little easier to organize and give.

Tribute starts when an organizer sends invites to various “tribe” members of someone they want to honor. Invitees are asked to create short videos about that someone. These videos are then put into a pool, which are then available to edit and create one master video montage. Invitees can make their videos on their desktops, smartphones or any other video devices. Invitees are given regular reminders to make sure they do their videos in a timely manner.

tribute-compile

For an extra $100, you can have a Tribute concierge handle the whole process aside from providing email addresses and some basic info. When all the videos are received, compiled and edited, Tribute makes a HD mp4 file that can be given as-is or uploaded to Youtube, Vimeo or any other video service.

I watched a few Tribute videos given for various reasons: birthdays, sickness/injury recovery, wedding, etc. And while some people were clearly better at expressing themselves than others, the overall effect was moving. I would be very pleased if I received one as a gift.

Tribute is currently raising money through Kickstarter to get their website and mobile app refined and launched. When live, a standard Tribute will cost $49 and a concierge-assisted one $149 (you can still buy a $29 “Cyber Monday” promo pledge that will get you the standard Tribute).

What’s great about Tribute is that it really puts technology to good use. Whereas e-cards can sometimes feel like a lazy version of a handwritten note, Tribute does something analog tech can’t. It’s a sharable, visual, no-clutter distillation of gratitude–something that has actually been clinically proven to make people happy, something that can’t be said of most of the stuff we buy as gifts.

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Extreme Risk of Stuffocation

Forgive us if we’ve been harping on about the experience versus stuff subject. Tis that time of year. Every scene of our lives seems set to the drunk-on-eggnog caroling of marketeers, urging us to get more stuff. And we talk about it so much because we believe it’s one of the most important topics of our times. This tightly wound knot, where retail value has become inseparable with emotional value, must be undone–for the sake of our planet, wallets, closets and lives. Anyway….

This leads us to James Wallman, a British trend forecaster who has defined and named this global material and existential crisis. He calls it “Stuffocation”–an apt name for the asphyxiating quality our addiction with stuff has produced in our planet and lives. He has penned a book of the same name, and in this short talk at the Royal Society of Arts, he outlines some of its concepts (note: the actual talk is the first 20 mins or so of video).

stuffocation

He touches on the now-familiar ecological and psychological problems that stem from stuffocation. But he also provides solutions. Rather than dissolving the world economy and moving to primitive, agrarian societies, Wallman suggests the movement from materialist to experientialist values. He envisions and predicts a new economy that supports the experience of living great lives, not the accumulation of the symbols we’ve been trained to believe denote them. To give an idea of what an experientialist economy would look like, he challenges the RSA audience to spend the same amount of money they would normally spend on stuff on experiences. E.g. take that money you’d spend on a Rolex and go on a vacation.

The book is already available in the UK. It’s US release is January 20, 2014 (full review coming soon). In the meantime, watch Wallman’s talk, check out his website and let us know what you think.

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The Myth of the Perfect Gift

Are you looking for the perfect gift this holiday season? Look no further. It doesn’t exist. As we reported the other day, Americans spend between 3-4% of their annual income on Christmas season gifts. The objective of this considerable allocation of funds, we might assume, is to give things to the people we love and like that will enrich their lives–things they will appreciate, use and enjoy.

The reality is something quite different. A Psychology Today article reports sobering information about the psychology of gift giving and receiving. Author Ben C Fletcher cites Professor Karen Pine’s research about festive gifts, which found that:

  • 89% of women and 79% of men pretended to like a gift they hated.
  • Half of all people had received at least one gift they hated the previous Christmas.
  • Half of all people have lied to a loved one about a gift, pretending to like it.
  • Gift receivers reported avoiding eye contact with the giver for fear of revealing how they really felt.
  • Gift receivers reported producing fake smiles using only the mouth (not the eye) muscles when pretending to like a gift.
  • Only 12% said they would tell the gift giver directly they didn’t like their gifts (“men were significantly more likely to do this than women”).
  • 1 in 5 people said receiving a gift made them feel anxious.

The reason for these pretenses and anxiety, Fletcher contends, is the maintenance of social bonds. The objective of a gift is to strengthen those bonds. If the receiver rejects the gift, it might weaken the bond–something he or she does not want to do. So people lie. They say they like things they don’t in order to maintain the relationship.

It’s not much easier for the gift giver, who is unsure whether his gift will strengthen of weaken the social bond he’s trying to maintain (not to mention possibly leveraging his finances). Pine found that a quarter of people surveyed reported that giving a gift made them anxious.

So what do we do? How do we strengthen social bonds without forking over a ton of money? How do we avoid putting our loved ones in positions where they feel like they must pretend to like something in order to maintain a relationship? Here are a few ideas:

  • Give experiences. We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again, people are far more likely to be satisfied with an experience than an object. Treat them to a play, take them out to dinner or cook dinner for them, go for a sleigh ride…whatever. Keep the focus on doing and experiencing, not having and accumulating. If you need to hand something over, give them a “One Less Gift Certificate.”
  • Give a gift certificate or money. It might lack the romance, but these gifts are sure to get used (unless the gift certificate is for an extremely inappropriate store, i.e. don’t get a Tiffany’s gift certificate to your ultra-minimalist pal.).
  • Give thoughtfully. Gift giving is an art. It often takes time, consideration and some knowledge of the gift receiver’s life. If we don’t have those things, we might want to give something with more universal appeal. If we do have those things, choose something carefully…and feel free to throw in a gift receipt and give license to use it ;-).

Upset man image via Shutterstock

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Minimalist Gift Idea: Personalized Thumb-Drives

We’ve said it before, but the holidays can be a vexing time for the minimalist. We want to perpetuate the spirit of giving, but don’t want to give a bunch of stuff that will likely go unused or straight to the closet, donation center or landfill. If you’re looking for a simple gift that is thoughtful, thrifty and useful, consider thumb-drives.

We’re not just suggesting that you give blank thumb-drives that, while useful, lack any personal touch. When giving out the drives, load them with pics, music mixes, letters, artwork, videos, etc; we suggest that these things be as personal as possible (and on universally recognized digital formats). The gift might lack some of the initial jolt of excitement of some gifts, but if you’re digital content is made with care, people will love your gifts. It’s amazing how far a little time and thought–e.g. a heartfelt letter–goes toward creating a memorable and appreciated gift.

After the gift has been given and (hopefully) appreciated, your recipient has a useful thumb-drive. We found a ten pack of 8 gig thumb-drives for $54. You can get cheaper ones, but spending a few extra bucks for more memory will increase the probability of the drives being used in the future by the gift recipient.

If you have gift ideas that are minimalist-friendly, please email us or let us know in our comments section.

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The Stuff-Free Gift Registry

Let’s say you’re getting married or having a baby shower (not necessarily in that order). The present-day American tradition is to set up a gift registry, ostensibly to prepare for these events. You populate said registry with stuff: Penne pasta makers, gilded napkin rings, baby wipe warmers, etc. But what if you err on the minimal side? What if you don’t want any new stuff, yet you want to be gracious (and smart) by receiving gifts? In fact, what if you love receiving gifts, just not the ones that max out your closets and landfills? How to you communicate these things to people who want to give you gifts? A website called SoKind has a solution, enabling would be giftees to receive gracefully, sans the stuff.

The site, started by the The Center for a New American Dream, allows people to put non-stuff-stuff on their registry. A sample list on their website includes cooking lessons for newlyweds, a YMCA membership for a recent graduate and homemade dinners right after pregnancy.

The SoKind website explains their motivation this way:

Today’s gift-giving culture has become ever more commercialized, fueled by ads, fads, and glitz. Here at SoKind, we know that your favorite gifts don’t always fit in a box. SoKind allows you to create a registry focused less on stuff and more on family, fun, and friends.

SoKind not only makes sense in terms of stemming the flow of stuff that might not get used, it also makes sense in terms of what actually make people happy. As we saw a while back, people are typically more satisfied when given experiences over stuff. It also reminds us of the brilliant One Less Gift Certificate, albeit a bit more comprehensive and technologically advanced.

Gift giving decorum can be an anxiety-producing subject for those of us who are looking to edit our lives. We might love the act of giving and receiving and don’t want to rebuke any gift given in kindness and generosity. But we also don’t want to have our friends, families and colleagues get us stuff we don’t want or will use; stuff that costs them money and will likely end up in a landfill or donation box sooner than later.

Tools like SoKind and the One Less Gift Certificate provide tactics for receiving gracefully and in a way that promotes the desire to simplify our lives.

Empty gift box image via Shutterstock

Via Treehugger

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6 Gift Ideas for a Stuff-Free Mom’s Day

As you may know–or should know–this Sunday is Mother’s Day. Like most holidays, Mother’s Day can present a challenge to the full-fledged or aspiring life editor/minimalist. You want to acknowledge and show appreciation for the mother in your life, but you don’t want give a perfunctory gift that’ll end up clogging her closets with useless or ephemeral stuff. This holds true whether she’s a minimalist herself or not…actually, it’s true especially if she’s not.

We’ve said it before, but giving experiences–not stuff–is the best bet for a memorable gift. Beside the benefit of having no physical volume, giving experiences won’t seem like a political statement when given to the more maximalmist mom.

Here are a few experience-based gift ideas to create memorable, clutter-free Mother’s Day (Note: Wherever possible/logical, share the experience with mom by doing it with her. It’s about honoring her, not getting rid of her):

  1. Give a class. Cooking, yoga, sewing, woodwork…heck, Photoshop or HTML. Nothing is as durable or lasts as long as knowledge. It’s fireproof, waterproof and takes up very little space…as we saw the other day, learning something new might even extend her life.
  2. Give a walking tour. Almost every city has them on a variety of subjects; many non-urban areas have through places like gardens, parks, historical sites, etc. It’s a great way to get to know where you live while getting some exercise. Bring some food and make it a picnic.
  3. Pamper her. Send her to a day spa, purchase a professional massage, set up a fancy haircut, give Reiki sessions or a mani/pedi, depending on mom’s idea of pampering.
  4. Go on date. This works best with a mom you’re romantically involved with–especially if you are both still in the trenches of child-rearing. Get a babysitter and take her out to someplace you think she’d want to go–dinner, movie, play, park, etc. Don’t ask her where to go if you don’t have to. Mothering is rewarding, but it’s also hard work filled with many decisions. Give her a break.
  5. Write her a letter/poem. I know it sounds kinda meager, but how often do you receive a thoughtful letter or poem (not just a card) that conveys how much someone loves and cares about you? Almost never, right? Trust us, this one is a winner.
  6. Ask her what she wants. This one is for a specific type of mom: One who will actually tell you what she wants. This may or may not entail getting stuff. However it is possible to get stuff that isn’t junk. If you think there’s something she’d like but might not be forthcoming in saying what it is, be persistent or ask around. And keep a receipt.

Do you have other Mother’s Day gift ideas that don’t leave a wake of clutter? Let us know in our comments section. Thanks!

Image: “Mom Tattoo” via Shutterstock

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Last Minute Gift Idea: Pooling Resources for Getaway

Today’s guest post is from Christine Hsu, a San Francisco-based organizational consultant (more info at Organized by Christine). She gives a great last-minute (or future) gift-giving idea for families who feel overwhelmed by the idea of finding the right gift. By focusing on experiences, not stuff, Christine shows how families can save time, stress and money while forging deeper connections with one another. 

In years past, I dreaded buying Christmas gifts for my husband’s parents and his brother and sister-in-law, all of whom live nearby.

Getting gifts for my niece and nephews was a no brainer. It was the adults that posed the challenge. My husband and I never knew what to get them. They already had everything they needed!

We didn’t want anything from them either. All three households were forever trying to get rid of STUFF, not accumulate it. We all felt like we had too much stuff as it was.

Worse yet, the time we spent trying to find that perfect gift was stressful and agonizing.

Last year, I wanted to do something different, but I was hesitant. Who was I, the newest member of their family, to suggest that we stop what had been a long time family tradition?

Then I read a NY Times article entitled “But Will It Make You Happy?”  which stated:

Current research suggests that, unlike consumption of material goods, spending on leisure and services typically strengthens social bonds, which in turn helps amplify happiness.

And that got me thinking…

Rather than six adults spending up to $100 on each person, why not pool our money together and go away during the holidays on a family retreat? We would be giving each other the gift of quality time together and great memories that will last forever. What could be better?

Not knowing how the family would react, I ran the idea by my husband first. His initial response, “I’m not sure…”, wasn’t too promising. So I decided against sending out a group email to avoid giving anyone an opportunity to shoot me down too soon. Instead, I reached out to my brother-in-law and sister-in-law first and included the link to the NY Times article to make my case. With their buy-in, I figured we could persuade the parents should they resist for whatever reason.

As it turns out, my “divide and conquer” strategy wasn’t necessary. Not only did everyone love the idea, they were as relieved as I was at the prospect of not having to look for gifts that none of us needed, thankful at not having to accumulate more stuff in our respective homes, and excited to be going away on a family trip!

We found a beach house rental on VRBO [Vacation Rentals by Owner] within driving distance that had no Internet and no TV (imagine that). We stole away for 3 days and 2 nights over the holidays. We cooked together, cleaned together, played games together, worked on puzzles together and just hung out and spent quality time like we never had before.  In fact, we had such a wonderful time that we are doing it again this year and have made it a (new!) family tradition.

Hsu-Games

The idea of forgoing Christmas gifts with the adults in my husband’s family and spending quality time together on a getaway trip instead–for the rest of our lives–just thrills me to pieces.  “No more exchanging gifts, promise?!” I asked last year, in disbelief that this was really happening.  “We promise!” they exclaimed. And so it is.

I feel so strongly about life editing that I started a home organization business in the San Francisco Bay Area to help other people lead happier and more productive lives. I’d love to share my story. 🙂

Christine-HsuIn addition to her home organization business, Christine is also the founder of ORIENTED.COM, the largest network of its kind worldwide for international professionals interested in Asian business and partnerships.

www.ChristineHsu.com

www.OrganizedByChristine.com

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Kick Your Stuff to the Krrb

Selling stuff can be a pain. Most us use one of several channels: Word-of-mouth, yard/stoop sales, Craigslist or eBay. Word-of-mouth is okay for stuff we want to dump, but many us have issues selling stuff to friends, particularly if we want to make money. Yard/stoop sales are a pain in the butt (dragging your stuff in and out, weather, etc) and they hit a limited audience, most of whom want to pay pennies on the dollar. Craigslist has great outreach, but often buyers are super-bargain shoppers and then there are scammers galore. EBay, for most of us, is a intimidating bazaar filled with cutthroat dealmakers.

A site called Krrb provides an answer for the non-professionals and small local businesses to sell their stuff easily. The site describes themselves this way:

Krrb (pronounced ‘curb’) is a hyperlocal, curiously global classifieds made just for you. A most epic scavenger hunt at your fingertips where you can thrift, scavenge, rummage and discover local treasures – in your neck of the woods or over yonder.

With over 24K users in 1130 cities, it beats word-of-mouth and yard/stoop sales; you can also keep stuff posted as long as you want. Unlike Craigslist, there are thumbnail pics of objects to see what you might want to buy. Also, everyone on the site must become a member, which is a great scammer-deterrent. Unlike eBay, there is no bidding; members can civilly negotiate prices if they so choose, but none of that last-second-outbidding that turns so many folks off of eBay.

Other features include a mobile app that shows Krrb objects in your area, a digest of stuff for sale in your area and Krrb Meetups (only in Brooklyn and Paris right now). Posting works on credit system. One post is one credit. Credits cost anywhere from $.50-1.00 (depending on volume you buy) and there are numerous ways of earning free credits (you get 10 free just for signing up). Visit their site to sell your stuff or buy some preowned holiday gifts.

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My Genes Made Me Buy It

In this interview with Sociologist Gad Saad, he promulgates the idea that innate biological imperatives drive consumer behavior. Saad is the Professor of Marketing and the research chair in evolutionary behavioral sciences and darwinian consumption at Montreal’s Concordia University. He is also the author of the book, “The Consumer Instinct: What Juicy Burgers, Ferraris, Pornography, and Gift Giving Reveal About Human Nature.” His studies purport that consumer behavior has four primary, biologically-rooted drives:

  1. Survival
  2. Reproduction
  3. Kin Selection
  4. Reciprocal altruism

The survival instinct, he believes is the reason why the top restaurants across the globe–McDonald’s, KFC, etc.–sling high-fat foods. More fat = more calories = surviving on the tundra for an extra day.

The reproductive instinct, he claims, plays itself out differently with the different sexes: Women are wooed by high social value, while men focus on physical traits. He uses one case study as an example, where a man was placed in a beat up car as well as a Bentley. Women were to report on the physical attractiveness of the same man in each car. The man in the Bentley was consistently deemed more physically attractive, as the car–a sign of high social value–influenced their perception. Conversely, the same test administered to men with a woman in the car found the men indifferent to the type of car.

In the interview, Saad does not delve into the final two instincts: Kin selection and reciprocal altruism, described as the instinct to exchange gifts with family members and the instinct to offer gifts to close friends, respectively. But we can assume that these are the operative instincts during the holiday gift-giving season and the $253B gift-giving economy in North America, which accounts for 10% of all retail purchases according to Saad.

We’ve had various discussions about gift-giving and receiving, some of which have gotten pretty contentious. The explanation that any sort of prohibition or limiting of gift exchange is in direct opposition to a biological imperative does not seemed far-fetched.

What Saad does not do–at least here–is claim that marketeers intentionally exploit these instincts. Rather, he suggests these tactics are implemented because they appeal to instinctual motivation and are thereby effective. Another example he cites is a study that found young men were not dissuaded from smoking because it caused cancer, but were dissuaded when they were told smoking would make them impotent and hence compromise their reproductive capabilities. Behavior driven by instinctual drives like these, Saad suggests, win the day, and marketeers know that based on bottom lines.

The question we have is how do you promote sane consumer behavior–using what you got, buying what you need, buying quality–when the prevailing symbols of biological success are linked with excess? Can living with less be consistent with our survival or reproductive instincts? Can giving your family member a “One Less Gift Certificate” align with our kin selection instinct? Or are we hardwired to consume when the resources are available? What do you think? Let us know in our comments section.

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