Design your life to include more money, health and happiness with less stuff, space and energy.

Design your life to include more money, health and happiness with less stuff, space and energy.

10 Mono-Function SkyMall Products for the UnEdited Life

While the world is littered with things that don’t promote living an edited life, few things are as baldly contradictory as SkyMall. The in-flight catalog presents countless ways to flip the LifeEdited credo on its head, i.e. “design your life to have less money, health and happiness with more stuff, space and energy.” Today, we are presenting 10 products that can bring confusion and clutter to even the most streamlined existence.

1. LED Blossom Tree

Love the country and energy-efficient lighting? Few things reconcile these passions–or create a bramble of wires in your crawlspace–better than this LED blossom.

2. Temple And Eye Massager

Nothing screams, “It seemed like a good idea when I was on the plane” like a remote-controlled temple and eye massager.

3. Baggy Rack

The Baggy Rack might actually be useful–about 2 or 3 times a year. And it’s one of those things you would remember to use after filling your baggies.

4. Voice Activated R2-D2

Sure, you probably have a droid, but if it’s like most, it’s pretty disobedient. According to SkyMall, this one obeys 40 voice-activated commands like “turn around,” “move forward 2 units” (most only move forward 1) and many other tasks critical to daily life. It’s also perfect for tripping over.

5. Shake N’Take Smoothie Maker

Blenders just aren’t specialized enough. Sure, they make perfectly great smoothies and shakes, but you have to pour the liquid into another container, which often takes up to 8 seconds. Nothing saves time and populates your countertop like a Shake N’Take Smoothie Maker.

6. EZ Egg Cracker

For those who like adding extra steps to the simplest of tasks, the EZ Egg Cracker is a must for your kitchen.

7. Zombie of Montclaire Moors

This thing is just weird and creepy, right?

8. Wine Glass Holder Necklace

For the multi-tasking oenophile.

9. Hovering Picture Frame

Hanging pictures has changed little since Lascaux. The Hovering Picture Frame will surely herald a new epoch in the annals of picture presentation.

10. SlumberSleeve

Do you have rock hard biceps? Do you like contorting your body to sleep on your arm? Look no further than the SlumberSleeve. Bonus: according to SkyMall’s description it acts as ankle, knee and “small neck” pillow for the double-jointed and fans of suffocation.

images from SkyMall

  • Number one for me: the wine glass holder necklace…..

  • Ah, Madison Avenue…(pssst: now YOU can buy a small clean country to keep your stuff in, and for one low fee, we’ll even rid the indigenous population). Just think: for every country you buy under the Own-Your-Own program, that’s one less land for your government to worry about.

  • JB

    I laughed so hard looking at these! The slumber sleeve? The wine necklace? Who buys this crap!? So funny!